Understanding
by ReadinWriter
Summary: I didn't understand, and maybe I still don't. What in life matters anymore? bad at summaries, please read and review. Yaoi Zemyx


_It is difficult to understand._

I never said "life was fair," hell nothing about life was fair. Sure it had perks, good days, happy times, whatever, but still it wasn't fair not in the sense of the word, and I knew that more than almost everyone, but some people like to believe other things, and I was not one to stop them. They want to believe something else fine they can go right ahead, and believe what they want. Something else about life it was unpredictable. Yes extremely unpredictable. I knew this too, but part of the unfairness, and unpredictability was that it could, one day just come crashing down on you.

_I wished for you for so long,_

_Praying for that moment when things would_

_Finally come together, that second_

_When life did not seem so hard._

My eyes scanned the piece of literature in front of me. I was usually here; there was nowhere else to be anyway. The library was a sort of sanctuary, for me. I was never very social. That is to say, I never really got many friends. Most labeled me emo or depressed, something that still upsets me. I was neither, I suppose I was just quiet and enjoyed being alone most of the time. There was one other person that I liked. In that form of the word though, he was quite a bit more preppy then I , He didn't really mind that I was quite, he would still talk, confess secrets, everything. He said he could tell no one else, thought I didn't show it, it made me happy. The funny thing is, happiness didn't always last, and before I knew it he began to stop visiting. The times he did were short, and he would mostly talk about his new boyfriend and how he had a new job as a guitarist at a coffee shop. His visits became so infrequent that I no longer expected him.

_But those wishes, at some point_

_Began to fade away, and before I knew it_

_My thoughts of where you were_

_Had faded from my sight._

I sighed lightly, closing the book in front of me. My blue eyes, or the visible one anyway, scanned the empty library. My one question, Was I that unimportant?

_Because I no longer understand._

The silent library held no answer for me. Just emptiness, and an eternity of questions. I thought that maybe it was meant to be like this, I was meant to be alone in this dark world. I was low on hope, and faith, and full of misery. I was ready to give up and give in but…

_And that was when you entered._

_You walked into my life, knowing that_

_I would see you, and think how lucky_

_Your other half must be._

You walked in and I looked up. Your smile apologetic, your features the same as I remembered. I didn't meet your gaze as you stood there, I simply looked on. You tried to explain, explain what had happened, but I wasn't listening. It didn't matter anymore, nothing did that much was clear.

_But you had no other half,_

_Your search had ranged the world,_

_Crying out from beneath your calm exterior_

_For that part that it so sorely lacked._

Tears brimmed my eyes, as I finally heard you.

_I still don't understand._

You cared, you really did. You were sorry for what you did. You weren't perfect. No one was. That much I knew was true. I had finally made a decision. I stood still avoiding your gaze, still hiding as I began to walk away.

_So I walked past you, knowing that there_

_Was no way in our twisted world_

_That I could ever get close to you_

_Or could ever even meet your gaze._

I didn't look back, I kept looking forward. My feet taking it one step at a time, tears steadily flowing from my eyes. You were calling me, but I blocked your words out as I kept my steady pace. I felt your hand grip mine, as you attempted to pull me back. I spun around your gaze finally meeting mine.

_But instead, you met mine._

_You pinned me where I stood, froze me with_

_The intensity of a golden soul, one that cared_

_Nothing for what others expected._

The eyes of the person I knew, the person that would always confront me in my time of need, the one thing that kept me intact in this world, the one thing that kept me from going over the edge. The person I had known for so long was right there in those eyes.

_Part of me will never understand._

Neither of us spoke, we simply stayed in each other's gaze. You smiled one small smile, and I gave one back. Followed by a warm embrace, as you wrapped your arms around me, I did the same. Still nothing mattered, and perhaps it never would, not while I was in your arms.

_I wished for you for so long,_

_And these past moments that I have_

_Shared with you, have still not convinced me_

_That I'm not dreaming._

We pulled away slowly, once again lost in the other's eyes. Then you spoke those three words that mean everything. 'I love you..' I smile and pulled you down into a long intimate kiss. Then as we pulled away once again, I answered 'I love you too', and we stayed in each other's embrace once more, not having a care in the world.

_But you never give me a chance_

_To wake up, and perhaps that is the_

_Greatest proof that what you have_

_Given to me, is real._

Life was unfair and unpredictable that much was for sure, but it was also wonderful and beautiful. This is what you've shown me. Maybe I don't understand, maybe I never will, and maybe I don't need to

_I don't need to understand,_

_that is what you gave me._

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Authors Note: A Zemyx one-shot I came up with. The poem in between lines is by Silvercharmed on Deviant art. Thanks for the inspiration! Constructive criticism is welcome! No flames please!

Disclaimer: I don't own them k.


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